Ranking Your Life

I’m a long way from being famous, but still I put my work out there for thousands of people to read each week. Some of it is good. Some is fair. And, some of it should come with an apology for wasting your time.

Over the years, I’m not sure if I have received more hate mail than love letters, but I understand that inducing a reaction from readers, good or bad, is part of my job. It’s okay to disagree with me; as a matter of fact I prefer it, not because I am wrong, which is rare, but because there’s nothing like a good verbal brawl to get things going.

Still, unbridled criticism is hard on the ego and living your life in a fish bowl makes it even harder.

Now, take the amount of public criticism that I receive times a million and you start to understand what professional golfers go through each week. If you play golf for a living every great shot is immortalized, but so is every poor one. That’s the price of fame.

We believe in perfection, or at least the pursuit of perfection. We are willing to pay hundreds of millions of dollars to witness the speed and grace that comes with perfection. But don’t falter. We don’t care if you’re tired or wounded. We don’t care if your wife charged a sex change operation on your American Express card, or if you have an ingrown toenail. You play golf for a living, I sell cars; do you want to trade? Having a bad day is not an option.

For a professional golfer the ultimate bad day is losing your playing privileges. Finish 125 on the money list and you’re a member of the club, stumble to 126 and your dream becomes a nightmare, and it’s something that everyone except the very best must go through every year.

There is also the demon that no athlete can overcome called age. It tiptoes behind each athlete everyday slowly but surely robbing them of the speed, agility and skills we envy. Age is cruel. It attacks the body before the mind, making it hard to know when to quit. But the money list never asks how old you are, or if you had some bad luck. It ranks your golf life and it never asks questions. As the Bob Dylan song goes, “Those not busy being born are busy dying,” and those not moving up on the money list are moving down.

But in two weeks it will all be over. We’ll know who gets to keep their card and who will have to try again. If you’re David Toms and choose not to play this past week you drop from 120 to 124 on the money list, which is only one better than Patrick who actually played, won $23,667 and still lost one position from 124 to 125 on the money list.

That hurts, but not as much as Jeff Overton and Mark Calcavecchia who also choose not to play and each drop out of the top 125.

With only two tournaments left paying official money, I was surprised that Fred Couples seems safe at position 102. I say this only because I haven’t seen Fred very much this year. The same goes for Corey Pavin at 104. Former U.S. Open Champion Angel Cabrera, who is one spot ahead of David Love III, at 114, is likely safe, as well.

Chris DiMarco, ranked 142, is going to need sponsor exemptions in 2009, as will guys like Jason Gore, Tom Lehman, Lee Janzen and former British Open Champion Todd Hamilton. As the old quarterback Bobby Layne once said, “In sports, it’s not very far from the penthouse to the outhouse.”

David Duval did not play this week and also lost one spot but that hardly matters when you’re ranked 223 on the money list. The same goes for big John Daly who so far has pocketed $56,017 in official money in 2008. Counting the cigarettes and Diet Cokes, I doubt if that covers half of his expenses. The same can be said for “Big Break” Tommy Gainey who has made $65,405 in 2008 and will no doubt go broke buying gloves.

You may find it interesting that the last 31 players on the money list did not play this past week and will likely not play in the last two tournaments. Some of the guys on the wrong end of the list are guys like Paul Azinger and Nick Price who didn’t expect to finish in the top 125, and some are guys like Cody Freeman who went to the tournament well 24 times in 2008 never dreaming he would end up ranked 226 on the money list.

Check out the entire official money list on PGA.com. You will notice that some guy named Tiger is likely to keep his card even though he played in only six tournaments in 2008.